First of all I would like to say apologies on the inconsistency of the spelling(s)
Secondly, apologies to those who got hurt (not really, we all had fun)
It was on a friday night 11.30 pm to be precise… I was about to go to bed when I got a phone call from Charles…
Charles: Yo Blaad! What u sayin…
Hans: Sup Fam
Charles: What u doin tonite?
Hans: just about to hop into bed
Charles: Damn! U borin
Hans: Yh whatever…anyways what’s goin down?
Charles: Well…I’ve got no money but I feel like checkin out some club. You comin?
Hans: man no bread here too
Charles: I know a guy who can hook us up with drinks
Hans: Oh yeah…that’s a good look but how do we get in and what club are you talkin about? South?!
Charles: nah man…westend
Hans: So what have u got in mind?
Charles: Crashing in…
Hans: u serious
Charles: yh man…I am. Heard Jay is gonna be there. U down?
Hans: Jay?
Charles: yeah Jigga man, hova…u down?
I thought for a minute…I felt I was going to miss out if I didn’t go… Though I wasn’t buying into the whole crashing in thing.
Charles: Fam…what u sayin…u down?
Hans: what’s the plan?
Charles: well…this club has got 6 ft4 bouncers…never been inside but like I said Jay is goin be there and if they don’t let me in…I’ll shut the club down…for real
Hans: yh right…Dude please!! Well you know I’m a peaceful man fam and u crazy, u wanna bring ur south spirit to the westend right.
Charles: you know how we do…
Hans: Anyways it sounds interestin…so how do u suggest we go about it?
Charles: u see bruv…I haven’t worked it all out yet but I could borrow ur brains on this
Hans: hmm I get…dats why u called me right?
Charles: nah…not really. U r good with the girls,so you see you could come in handy there too.(Laughing)
Hans: man… I swear dowm you are messed up…(Laughing)
Charles: I know fam…so u got any ideas?
Hans: yeah…we need a bait. What’s Chip up to tonite cos we need him
Charles: Chip!!! Dat dude is crazy…
Hans: I know…
Charles: Anyways… go on
Hans: but do u fink Chip is stupid enough to be a bait?
Charles: on a good day…Chip is stupid as a mofo…on a bad day what do u fink…besides dat dude (Chip) is like 6ft 3…but I need to holla at Chip still to see what he’s up to…hopefully he’s not arrested for something…always gettin locked up
Hans: Ok…
Charles: U know what…I’ll put him on a conference call…give me a min
Phone rings on the other end…Charles calls up Chip
After some seconds…Chip picks up
Charles: yo!
Charles connects me without Chip’s knowledge
Chip: yo fam! Sup?
Hans: Sup Chip
Chip: huh..who is dat? U snitchin Charles
Charles: Dats Hans
Hans: yo Chip…its me man.
Chip: oh yeah…sup fam
Hans: cool u know…
Chip: what’s this about man…some undercover brotha thing by this time of the night, no girls in your lives anymore…c’mon man what’s happened to fb or porn?
Charles: man you r chattin shit right now u know dat…
Chip: (laughing) so what’s up…and Hans… heard you are on the nite club promo thing…hook ur boy up man
Hans: sure…dats partly why we called you…
Chip: nice…
Charles: dude we wanna crash into a club… I feel you’r the man for it.
Chip: What?! U mad bruv… What you sayin…we got Hans, I’m sure he’s got connect
Hans: not my club…not my night
Chip: oh yeah…hm. What’s the attraction?
Charles: hova’s goin be there
Chip: u serious? But if I get stopped at the door…then it don’t make no sense…u got money?
Charles: nah man…
Chip: ok let’s say we get in…then what? No drinks…by the way how much is it to get in?
Charles: Like 40 quid…
Chip: man…dats bull
Charles: but I got this guy Moo…a promoter, he can get us drinks man
Hans: but he finks you won’t get in…in the first place.
Chip: true
Charles: you know for a minute…I thought so…but I’m goin proof him wrong dis time…he tried dat on me in some other club…got there they didn’t let me in.
Hans: oh yeah…how sad. If he can’t get you in for free…dude is playin man, he must be a joker…infact dat dude jus been chattin shit
Charles: but not dis time bruv…not if our plan works
Chip: man wat plan?! Honestly I’m not hearing no plan here… U know what guys… I’ll call it a night with you two love birds…I’m jus gonna stay indoors and get high on something
Hans: Chip…you can bring your demos along if you want to…we’ll find a way to pass it onto Jay…
Chip: (excited) oh yeah…now you are talkin…
Charles: yeah…nice one
Hans: how many Cds have you got?
Chip: got couple of dem lying here and there…I’ll jus gather a few
Hans: awesome!
Chip: so what’s the plan?
Charles: yeah erm…what’s the plan Hans?
Hans: now listen up guys…you know I’m a promoter, I see this work almost half the time…can’t believe I’m doin this
Chip hisses…I pause
Charles: go on man… Don’t mind him (Chip)
Hans: anyways for your information…however this gets done..I’m goin stand behind you guys…I aint gettin all messed up on dis, got a reputation to keep… jus givin you dudes heads up
Chip: behind?! And head?! What’s dis guy on… Like some homo ish?! (Laughing)
Charles: mehn!…I’m finkin same
Hans: psst! man shut up!!…don’t be bringing in some homo jokes in now..dats not funny…jus doin this cos someone wants to get wasted and d other needs his Cd on Jay’s hands…right?!
Charles: point of correction…you wanna get laid…you missed dat part out…u dummy.
Hans: nah! u mean ‘we’ …as in we wanna get laid? Fool!
Charles: yeah we…whatever man
Chip: I’m liking this…go on with the plan son…I’m listening
Hans: son!! Swear down you are funny man…anyways here’s the idea I got…listen up…dumb-asses
Continues on next blog…
@hansmills01
@liongoldent on twitter
download Hans Mills “The Simple Album: My Madhouse Obsession” here
http://www.iwantairplay.com/albums/hansmills-thesimplealbummymadhouseobsession
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